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(NaturalNews) (Saturday satire) ABC News has announced Canada Goose Parka that its discredited news anchor George Stephanopoulos now exposed as a Clinton crime family operative who secretly funneled money to the Clintons without disclosing it to viewers will be replaced as news anchor by Lance Armstrong. They tried to hire Brian Williams from NBC News, but he was unavailable because canadian goose jacket he was personally piloting a military helicopter Canada Goose sale and dodging RPGs in the Middle East. (He’s a professional dodger.)
canada goose black friday sale ABC announces reformed news lineup”We need to restructure our news organization around high integrity people the public can trust to deliver unbiased, accurate news on world events,” says canada goose black friday sale an ABC News announcement. “We believe Lance Armstrong is cheap Canada Goose that canada goose store perfect spokesperson who reflects the kind of values we hold Canada Goose Online dear at ABC.” canada goose black friday sale
Accordingly, This Week with George Stephanopoulos will be replaced with a new show entitled Last Week with Lance Armstrong, featuring a revolutionary format that repeats all canada goose uk shop the mainstream media lies buy canada goose jacket you heard last week, repackaged as the same mainstream media lies you’ll hear this week.
Another show is being considered, entitled, “How Republicans Are Canada Goose Outlet Responsible for This Mess.” It’s a game show format where contestants are given descriptions of disastrous scenarios and buy canada goose jacket cheap they compete to see who can blame Republicans the quickest. Early topics for the game show include:
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canada goose coats Other shows are also being radically re worked to replace Stephanopoulos with Armstrong. “Good Morning America,” currently hosted by George Stephanopoulos, will see Lance Armstrong take the helm with the new name, “Good Morning, You Dumb Assed Viewers Who Will Believe canada goose uk outlet Anything We Say.” canada goose coats
buy canada goose jacket cheap The new show plans to feature Bill Clinton challenging Lance Armstrong to a game of Truth or Dare. (Mostly, they’re going with “dare.”) A transcript from the taping of the show has already been cheap canada goose uk released: buy canada goose jacket cheap
Armstrong: canada goose factory sale Mr. Clinton, did you ever have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky?
Clinton: I chose “dare.” Ha ha ha.
buy canada goose jacket Armstrong: Okay then, I dare you to answer the question, did you ever have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky? buy canada goose jacket
Clinton: canada goose clearance If I did, I don’t remember, and I didn’t inhale.
canada goose coats on sale Competing with MSNBC to see who can lose viewers more quicklyAbove all, ABC, NBC and MSNBC are all in a race to find out which fake news network can lose viewers the quickest. canada goose coats on sale
Canada Goose Parka So far, MSNBC is in the lead by featuring the slobber spewing hate group “Southern Poverty Law Center” which specializes in canada goose uk black friday reverse racism hate speech while claiming to oppose hate speech. Appearances by hate spewing dunce masters like Mark Potok from the SPLC a miserable man shaped worm who despises patriots and real Americans have driven MSNBC to a 10 year low in viewership ratings, now averaging a miserable 49K average viewers during the day. (Alex Jones all by himself, love him or hate him, reaches about 20 times the viewership of MSNBC every day.) Canada Goose Parka
Canada Goose Jackets NBC News wasn’t far behind, thanks to the creative shenanigans of Brian Williams, who last tweeted that he was personally climbing the Empire State Building like uk canada goose a giant ape, swatting at World War I era biplanes and saving damsels in distress. Canada Goose Jackets
canada goose deals ABC is contemplating re hiring Stephanopoulos to play a role in a Sesame Street inspired news show called “George and Snuffleupagus Invent the News,” which features the beloved Snuffleupagus character alongside Elmo getting injected with autism inducing vaccines by the Surgeon General. canada goose deals
Look! Here are two mindless corporate puppets Canada Goose Coats On Sale on the screen at the same time!
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Canada Goose Outlet Where are canada goose coats on sale all the canada goose coats viewers going when they leave the totally fake mainstream media? To the Independent Media, https://www.canadagoosejacket-outlet.ca of course, where real people report real news after engaging in real thinking (and without reading scripted teleprompters). Canada Goose Outlet
canada goose clearance See: 10 Questions ABC News and George Stephanopoulos Must Answer About Canada Goose Jackets His Hidden $75,000 Clinton Foundation Donation canada goose clearance
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